My new pajamas ,I'm all nice and warm in P.J's for the day Its Sunday a day or rest, a day of relaxing and doing things that you want to do for you today. We usually cook a nice big Sunday Dinner and relax, Me and my Teenager will be watching back to the future 2 today we try and watch a movie every Sunday that he choices and my S/O will be watching foot all and cooking he likes to cook on Sunday today's dinner Boiled Dinner oh yummy.as far as I go I have some laundry in the washer, ran to the store all ready and did dishes the rest of the day is mine I need to get my meal plan done for the week, do some blogging and watch the movie with my Teenager I am also on Baby Watch my niece is having her first baby any day she was due on Friday Sept 25 she has some signs that she is progressing I think tonight is the night after midnight tonight is the Total Eclipse, first time in 30 years the earth will cover the moon its very exciting also known as The Blood Moon.click that link,:)
After all my family has been thru since my brothers passing Feb 1.2013 this baby is much needed for them happiness and joy all the smiles they bring, My Brother would of been the best grandfather ever, he so wanted to be a grandfather so bad his first but I know he is with this baby to be and he is so happy for her arrival Yes, its a girl
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I try and look at each day I am alive and wake up for my sleep as being thankful and grateful. I have days I wake up and say Thank-you God I am alive. I often think of my brother David that died in his sleep or at least that's what we believe, I mean all we know is when 6am came and it was time to wake up he was dead, we know it was a sudden and unexpected I mean 44 and dead of a massive heart attack is very unexpected. I seem to relate everything that happens back to his death in other words if this didn't happen then that wouldn't of happened. and I also notice that things that have happened since his death all tend to happen around the date of his death or his birthday. I am Thankful I wake up every day, I have responsibilities that I have and I cant neglect them I need to be here and alive.
I actually am thankful for trees I just love trees I think they are so mysterious and they have been here for over 200 years I think that's interesting in in it self I think wow my great great grandmother touched that tree, there's always something to be Thankful for Yesterday I spoke about 2/1/2013 the day that changed my life well to pick up were I left off,My Brother has died and S/O has cancer.I'll do my best to explain this first of all He has Bladder cancer and as other Cancers it depends on what type?, how far along? what stage ? and treatment plan Well it was horrible finding a Dr, then the Dr we had was just awful didn't explain things that good and no bed side manner. From the moment s/0 started his bcg treatments he always felt This Dr is rough, does not explain. his equipment seems old, things don't seem sterile . But, we didnt know what we were doing and how were we to know that as time went by we heard more and more negative comments about this Dr but I guess thats another story. S/O started BCG treatments ,Intravesical Therapy click the underscored highlighted for a definition, He went thru that for 1 year after the death of My Brother it was hard because I was in mourning for my Brother and I wanted to be left alone I was just sad and feeling lost I probably wasn't as supportive as I should of been but I couldn't help it. The first round didn't work every week he had a catheter inserted into his penis with the chemo or BCG which ever you prefer to call it .We were referred to surgeons now s/o did loose weight but was lucky with side effects they were minor.
That morning s/0 and I were going to our appt for our fasting labs for our diabetes,after we did that we stopped for breakfast we were starving. We just sat down and ordered our breakfast,when I got a call from my Sister-In-Law she was crying I couldn't make sense out of what she was saying she was crying and saying emt's are here they are working on David , I was saying what? what's wrong? she said he wont wake up,they have been working on him for a few minutes now. A million thoughts somehow went thru my head I gotta get there I promised him if
i have to share this i dont care had such a bad day i seen a message on my chat from some stranger saying hey silva whats up im back at fob shank(afghanistan) i messaged the kid back and said i'm sorry my brother has passed away etc,,,,so for the past hr me and this kid have been messaging eachother back and forth, He told me " I will never forget your brother we were on a mission one night and I didn't have my gear and armour i was a army interpreter, your brother had my back and said here ill take care of you and My Brother gave this kid his body armour WOW!!!!! some how his kid was put into my life today to tell me how fucking brave and unselfish my brother was with his army buddies this kid is 25 this was 2010
a little history my brother died at home 2/2013 of a heart attack in his sleep, he was in the Army, stationed in Afghanistan, There's so many stories I don't know but I do know a lot my brother told me one when he was in a IED explosion and saved his battle buds life my brother got the purple heart for that , these buds remained friends even after the army my brother and so many more suffered from PTSD . My brother would tell me i hear the voices of ppl dieing I hear my friends screaming help, and i have nightmares seeing what I seen , it seems from the above message my brother even took his own body armour off to protect a fellow battle bud its amazing for some reason that bad day I was having must of come in to play with receiving a fb message from a old friends of my brothers, he couldn't believe he died, he was telling me how much of a hard time he has having since home so maybe god worked and this kid needed me and my brother its all intertwined so I guess the nice time I complain about heat and my thumb , I shouldn't remember my brother and this mission with his friend John |
Author2nd half of my life with a teenager ,enjoying life as best we can trying new things and making memories Archives
October 2016
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